ENG: For the last couple of years I have been working on reprogramming my mind set, and convincing myself that my fair skin is beautiful and that I should not be ashamed of it!
I have been trying to love living in my own skin and feel confident exposing it in the public, without having to self tan, or sunbathe, or go to the solarium, for a "boost of confidence" and darker skin!
Yet, every summer, I reach for a self tanner...and even then, people will still comment on my pale skin, like it's a bad thing!
The other day, my neighbour came to visit, and the first thing she told me was: "Aren't you going to the beach at all? Go and catch some sun! Look how pale you are!" She told this to me in a tone that seemed like it's a bad thing and that she was almost making fun of how pale I am.
Is being pale ugly? Is it something we should be ashamed of?
Is it something we should hide, or, try to sun tan quickly at any cost, just to avoid being laughed at?
The other day, my hubby and I were going to the beach, and I wore this short summer dress, and I couldn't help but starting to feel uneasy in my own skin, wishing that I had at least applied a self tanner the night before!
I began wondering why do I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, and remembered all those times my neighbours, my friends, or my colleagues from work "laughed at me" for not being tanned yet, even though we're in summertime!
I started wondering, what's wrong with them? Because nobody should be put down on behalf of the colour of his/her skin!
I want to believe that pale skin can still be considered beautiful, attractive and appealing. I don't want to hide and cover it, trying to avoid people's rude comments and jokes!
The same thing goes for make up...Why do we have to put on the make up to feel confident?
When I was lounging around my house the other day, with a freshly cleansed face and not a dot of make up on, I got asked (by the same neighbour), why are my under eye circles so pronounced and am I sick?
I always had pronounced under eye circles, even when I was a child. It's my face structure.
The way I was created. I'm not sick, I'm just ME.
And thank godness that I'm healthy, because that's the biggest treasure in this world. And all those people who put such a petty things such as skin colour and bone's structure as an issue, should be the ones to feel ashamed of their way of thinking!
And therefor, ladies and gentlemen, I proudly prsent you my pale skin and no make up face!
HR: Dragi moji, ja vec godinama radim na "reprogramiranju" mog mentalnog sklopa, pokusavajuci se uvjeriti da je moja svijetla boja puti lijepa i da je se nemam razloga sramiti! Pokusavam voljeti zivjeti u vlastitoj kozi, biti dovoljno samopouzdana kako bih ju otkrila u javnosti, bez potrebe za posezanjem za sredstvima za samotamnjenje, maratonu suncanja, ili odlasku u solarij po "brzu dozu samopouzdanja"!
Ali opet, svako ljeto, posegnem za sredstvom za samotamnjenje i cak i tada ljudi komentiraju boju moje puti, kao da je to nesto lose, ili razlog podsmjehivanja!
Bas neki dan, dosla mi je susjeda u posjet i prve rijeci koje mi je uputila bile su: "Zar uopce ne ides na plazu? Odi se malo osuncati, vidi koliko si bijela!" Njezin ton bio je podrugljiv, zelio mi je dati do znanja da je moja bijela put smijesna i neprihvatljiva.
Da li je bijela koza ruzna? Da li je to nesto cega se trebamo sramiti? Da li nasu bijelu put moramo skrivati, ili nastojati sto prije potamniti, pod svaku cijenu, kako ne bismo bili predmet ismijavanja?
Prije par dana, muzic i ja isli smo na plazu, a ja sam bila odjevena u kratku ljetnu haljinicu. Nisam mogla suspregnuti nelagodu, cak sram i pozeljela sam da sam barem noc prije nanijela sredstvo za samotamnjenje!
Pocela sam razmisljati zasto se ja tako nelagodno osijecam u svojoj kozi i sjetila se svih onih trenutaka kada su me susjedi, prijatelji ili kolege ismijavali na racun moje bijele puti. Cak i kada bih potamnila tijekom ljetnog godisnjeg odmora, to za njih nije bilo dovoljno zamjetno i opet bi me ismijavali.
Tada sam se zapitala sto to nije u redu sa njima? Jer vjerujem da nitko ne bi trebao biti predmetom ismijavanja na racun svoje boje koze!
Ja zelim vjerovati da se bijela boja puti moze smatrati lijepom, atraktivnom i pozeljnom. Ne zelim ju vise skrivati, u nastojanju izbjegavanja pogrdnih komentara i neslanih sala!
Ista se stvar odnosi na sminku...Zasto se moramo nasminkati kako bi se osjecali samopouzdano?
Kada sam odmarala u dvoristu, svjeze opranog lica i bez trunke sminke, opet sam dobila pitanje zasto imam toliko izrazene podocnjake i da li sam bolesna?
Ja sam uvijek imala izrazene kolutove ispod ociju, cak i kao dijete. Takva je struktura moje lubanje. Tako sam stvorena. Nisam bolesna, nego sam JA.
I hvala Bogu da sam zdrava, jer zdravlje je najvece bogatstvo na ovom svijetu i najveci razlog za srecu. A svi ovi ljudi koji isticu blijedu put i strukturu kostiju vaseg tijela kao problem, trebali bi se sramiti samih sebe i svog primitivnog nacina razmisljanja!
I stoga, dame i gospodo, ponosno vam predstavljam moju bijelu kozu i nenasminkano lice!
Location: Cifnata's cove, the island of Rab, Croatia
Lokacija: Uvala Cifnata, otok Rab.
TRIKINI: Yamamay
NECKLACES: Pull & Bear
SWIMSUIT COVER UP: Pull & Bear
WOODEN WATCH: Jord, mod. Sully in Natural Green
